Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Fear Allah

You can't tell me that you have never faced a difficult situation in your life. You can't tell me that there wasn't anything in your life, no matter how long you have lived, that really knocked the wind out of you. Made you fall and get hurt. There must have been something, we've all had that something . 
In this life many a times we are faced with trails and test custom made for us and that's the beauty of it. What might be difficult for me might not be difficult for you and vice versa. So, don't go comparing yourself to someone who isn't you, never was you and will never be you. We live in a world where there is constant comparison of who has more and who has less. Whose got the shiny Mercedes and who still drives to work in the 1999 model of Mazda. And this comparison is not healthy . It's just another unhealthy distraction meant to make us feel inferior and worse about ourselves it makes us ungrateful. To the point that our whole priorities in life change . 
So , when problems come and they are meant for us. They aren't meant to crush us or break us they are meant to fix us , turn us back to Allah and they are blessed moments because you will never ever have that clarity in your head regarding what Allah means to you in your life. How much He loves you, even when you feel so unloved and so hurt , He loves you and don't kid yourself into thinking that its the kind of love that we human beings shower upon one another , it's not , it never can be. Because He is Allah, our belief in Him teaches us that none of our attributes or personality traits will ever come close to His Attributes. He cares for you and you can turn around and say if you care so much why am I hurting so badly or you can submit and do the best you can through du'a and constant good deeds. Your hurt is not without reason its meant to fix whatever deficit there is in you . It could be something emotional or spiritual, accept it and move forward the best way you can . And one day you will see why all that time you were hurting so badly , which by the way you will not even remember fully, was meant to happen and how you're better because of it. 
Each painful experience is an expiation for our sins and it is out His Mercy it is like that. It could just have been raw pain but its not its not without purpose. So, let go of the past its a choice you must make or you can stay stuck there curse everyone and everything but in the end your negative feelings will only ruin you and when you come out of that trans of hurt and pain the world wouldn't have stopped turning and your life will not have come to a standstill , it would just be you punishing yourself for things out of your control. 
Let's say you don't decide punish yourself you don't punish someone else either and you look for a solution . I'd tell you fear Allah as you search high and low for a way out . Because as you search many people will share your journey but you will find that they got what they wanted in an instant . while you're solution is nowhere in sight. They adopted unfair means, they might have even let go of a few principals along the way especially those with regards to their deen . You might hear a voice saying "you're the stupid one! Let go of these principals and search away don't bother if its right or wrong" And you'd be lying if you say you aren't tempted. But remember Allah's Promise :

"...And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to him, He will make a way out for him to get out ( from every difficulty)"
(At-Talaq :2)

Fearing Allah and holding yourself accountable before you are held accountable may seem like the hardest thing . Being patient when the pain seems to make everything so much harder may not seem like the brightest idea.It can seem like whatever , but know that its the right thing. Because Allah Promised and nothing in this world beats that . Stay strong and carry on

Monday, January 13, 2014

Know What A Trail is Worth.

I never knew that a trail could be so beneficial for me. I never knew it could move me so much but it did. We are always told that trails come to those who Allah Loves and that He never gives us a burden we can't handle. For someone who doesn't like to put herself in difficult situations I never knew the  true meaning of these facts until recently. I guess the reason I am sharing this with you all today is because I hope that through my experience someone learns the importance of facing our fears and why as Muslims when we continuously dream and fawn over gardens in Jannah we should remember that to attain  those gardens we need to face our fears and brave difficulty as and when it comes, Insha'Allah.
When you plan to put yourself in a difficult situation the first thing that happens is that Shaitan reasons it out with you telling you that you survived this long not facing up to difficult situations you can go on for longer, possibly forever. Do not listen to him. He may in that moment of desperation appear as a so-called "voice of reason" or a "well-wisher" but he is anything but that. He does not want our well- being , he loathes any good progress we make in our lives.
Remind yourself repeatedly that good that your efforts will bring with Allah's Help and though it is not unreasonable to hope and pray for everything to turn exactly in your favor know that if your intention is to please Allah then you really have nothing to loose and that He is the Best of Planners for all our affairs.And even if you don't get what you hoped for know there is still reason enough to stay hopeful and whatever you received is good for you, its from Allah.
 Living in this day and age, where everything is available at the push of a button or a mere phone call we expect nothing less then instant gratification in all our affairs. We want our problems dealt with timely and with ease but we forget that in this life, there is no real ease. In fact we were created in difficulty so why do expect a life of perpetual ease?
It is unreasonable to expect that something as amazing, as eternal as Jannah can come with such relative ease. And that is reason we hold back from difficult situation our mind cannot accept the fact that something so good can be so difficult to achieve, I mean how can reasonable human beings, people who claim to love me unconditionally, turn against me when it comes to upholding the truth and doing what is right? New flash! That's dunya for you folks, sorry for the rude awakening but that is just how it is.
The sooner you accept this the easier it is to move forward in life and face challenges in life. Because even though you expect words to sting and actions to hurt you know at the other end is Allah's promise of His special help and mercy. You have to experience it know what it is,SubhanAllah.
To sum it up , its like even though your heart aches in the midst of a messed up situation you see a lot of good you see things from a perspective that keeps you sane , when everything and everyone threaten to fall apart.I can with certainty say, that if it had not been for all those trails for those seemingly easy things in life, I would not have as much respect and value in my heart for my Deen.
 Had it not been for the trails in my life I would have never learned that the reason that I hold back from standing up for what is right is because the truth upsets my loved ones but now I know that they can get as upset as they want and refuse to love me but no one will be more upset then Allah swt should I keep running away from doing the right thing, in the end only His Pleasure counts. I feel this was the one thing that really always bothered me and now that I had to face it , I think I grew thicker skin because of it Alhamdulillah.
If it hadn't been for trails I wouldn't realize the value of my life and why Islam is a true blessing that makes every trail worthwhile. To know that Allah helped me and I felt His help consciously is a true confidence and eeman booster it makes me want to do more that is not easily achievable.
I don't want all those reading this to think that it will get easy, there will be countless more times where I will find myself second guessing myself and stopping in my tracks but this experience that I had I will try harder to push past my fears and inhibitions insha'Allah.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

True Sacrifice?

So Eid ul Adha just came and went . This Eid was different from the other one and no doubt both of them are important in their own right but both have different emotions underlying their celebration. Eid ul Fitr came after the blessed month of Ramadan : a month of spiritual revival and rejuvenation. A much needed break from Shaitan and his constant whispers. Eid came to celebrate our month  long struggle and one felt this sense of achievement .
Then 2 months later , Allah blessed us with Eid ul Adha and I felt that many of us didnt seem to understand the spirit of it or reflect upon why we relive this Sunnah of sacrificing an animal for the sake of Allah swt. Its no secret as to "why" we do it but I feel that just as we have in life learnt many things "in theory" just to help us get by in life we treat the spirit and motivational factor behind this eid in the same manner, just get it over with and move on. Kind of like how you wrote learn facts for an exam you do it so that youre safe from  losing marks on those objective questions.
We go buy the animal wince and whine through the whole process of slaughtering and distribution of meat, as if may Allah forbid it was the biggest hassle of our lives and we forgot why we are required to distribute the meat in the first place. Did we forget that:

"And strive hard in Allâh's Cause as you ought to strive (with sincerity and with all your efforts that His Name should be superior). He has chosen you (to convey His Message of Islâmic Monotheism to mankind by inviting them to His religion, of Islâm), and has not laid upon you in religion any hardship,"

[Surah Al- Hajj 22 :78]

Allah didn't place this Sunnah upon us to be means of hardship. Then why is that we found the whole process so nerve wrecking, upsetting and time consuming? Why didn't we stop and remind ourselves that the whole process was a test from Allah swt one that we could have easily passed by the Will of Allah  had we remembered that :

"It is neither their meat nor their blood that reaches Allâh, but it is piety from you that reaches Him." 

[Surah Al - Hajj 37:78]

So, no one asked you to splurge on that Australian bull you had hauled over to your place. No where was it ordained for you to take it for a "well-timed" walk at midnight so the neighbors may know that the bull has arrived and may appreciate it as you felt you rightly deserved even if you didnt admit it

Then everyone had their own theories of the "right" way to go about this Sunnah. Some felt shampooing the sacrificial goats and feeding them mineral water and sitting in a manner that blocked people's way to look after the goat was the way towards attaining an accepted sacrifice. Some felt until you didn't bond with the animal on a deeply personal level , how you would with a pet cat your sacrifice is deemed incomplete. Did I mention that those who grew attached to the animal found themselves disturbed and shaken on the day of Eid and actively found themselves "missing the old goat"? Yes, that happened too. Some of us were scared we did one tiny thing wrong so now Allah just hates us. There was still much room for the debate about whether it is fardh for women to attend Eid prayer and people were close brandishing their copies of Sahih Bukhari to prove a point.

Does anyone see where the problem lies? One word sums it up : Distraction. I mean, I am by no means a scholar or even close to it but Allah blessed me with some insight that I feel I need to remind myself of again and again because truly this reminder is one that should be with us from the moment we get up in the morning to the time we lay our heads to rest at night.  And that the month of Dhul Hajj and Eid came to remind us to revive the legacy of our beloved Prophet Ibrahim (as). Allah called his Khalil (friend) , He is mentioned in the Quran as Haneef. And though I am not qualified to go into the grammatical intricacies of this word what I have learnt is that Haneef is someone who is focused.

 You don't find such person running in circles looking for the meaning in his life. You don't find such a person second guessing himself or the commands of Allah once something has been ordained upon him and thinking what could Allah possibly want by asking Him to sacrifice his beloved son in His Name. 
Reflecting on the life that Ibrahim (as) led for the sake of Allah it makes you  truly see why our lives are so devoid of a true spiritual bond. Why we take years, if ever, to make a decision only because Allah swt wants that from us and has nothing to do with the people around us. 
We know that Allah created us to worship Him Alone yet we find ourselves leading distracted and empty lives. We can't wait till salah is over so we can take out our mobile phone to answer that "all-important" text message. We have the attention spans of a goldfish when it comes to our ibadaah . We are so lost in this world and its glitter that everything we hold dear, our concept of good and evil and whats really important is based upon this dunya. 
And then we have the audacity to say that we are living upon the legacy of  Prophet Ibrahim (as) and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) ! Why aren't we trying to befriend Allah? Why does it matter so much whether our distant aunty loves us but it really doesnt whether Allah loves us or not? Why does it matter so much if the battery of my phone dies out but I cant take out time to recharge my eeman? These, and a myrid of other equally disturbing questions plagued my head when I came to realize that this eid came and we were so distracted. 
So, Eid too became another distraction when it wasnt meant to be. It was supposed to be a sacrifice from our time, our money and our worldly distractions to do something just for Allah swt and celebrate at the same time. But instead it became a day to where we got so distracted by the pounds upon pounds of uncooked meat around us that we forgot that it meant to an act of worship not a day to plan the next barbecue or store our freezers.

These examples of our beloved Prophets are not mere stories set in mythical settings as so many times people mistake them to be. They are an integral part of our faith and a means of timeless inspiration for Muslims. We should constantly keep looking at these people as our role models when we are striving to be good Muslims as we so often claim to be. So that we stay focused on whats truly important in life and not get sidetracked by empty goals and life consuming fantasies that will not even be worth the weight of an atom on the Day you and I meet our Rabb yet they will be heavy enough to drag us to the pits of never ending doom. 

Say (O Muhammad SAW): "Verily, my Salât (prayer), my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allâh, the Lord of the 'Alamîn (mankind, jinn and all that exists)" (Surah Al Anaam 6 :162)

Friday, September 20, 2013




There are some realities of our existence as human beings that keeps us grounded. We rely on them and they allow us to move from one routine day to the next but lately I don't feel so reliant on these realities anymore. I tend to see all that we take for granted in a different way :

All the facts of our existence aren't exactly facts like there is no guarantee that there will always be  running water in your tap or that you will have the same house to go home to. Your bank balance will not always have the same amount and the savings you have for the so called , much dreaded "rainy day" may well dry out long well before that rainy day pours down on your plans.

Those insurances we stress about what assurance do they really give us at the end of the day? That should my loved one pass away ill be compensated in cash for my loss? Can money replace the void that that person left? You have got to be kidding me.

So, you see sometimes I don't feel grounded by these so called realities and false assurances that human life on this earth has to offer. I don't feel compelled to buy those shoes or save up for that new bag because its just another bag and those shoes are just another pair of shoes, I don't need them. I have people in my life that I love deeply sometimes unwillingly but I  know that I can never attach the much coveted word "mine" to anyone , it doesn't feel right because:

To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.

If you know me personally, you would say she is young she doesn't have the same responsibilities women her age have so its easy for her to have this carefree, apathetic attitude towards money and material goods. And really I dont owe you any explanations but I would like to remind you  and myself :

That all that we take for granted as it really is ours is from Allah. Food, shelter , you name it Allah provided it to you. As hard as it is to always remember that , because our material wealth gives us that false security that I bought it, I own it, Its mine. It is just a day dream that we quickly snap out of, often quite painfully when we lose things. 

I like to feel weightless like that because when you aren't held down by the realities of this life , you're eyes tend to see beyond the concrete houses and raging traffic. You gaze often lifts up to the heavens and you remember Allah exists and that just when you remembered Him in your heart , He remembered you too. 

When something doesn't go your way you aren't pushed to wage a war for those small unfortunate occurrences. You let go and in return you feel your heart is clean and free from bitter emotions like anger and hate for someone though it doesn't mean you never feel that way you do but not as much.

The heart still yearns for those things that it would like to receive but much of what it used to ache over and yearn for is replaced by that all encompassing feeling and knowledge that this life is little more then a moment's worth of enjoyment , that too interrupted by tests, anguish and pain. So, you feel inclined to make the most of this moment, trying to remember Allah and you don't feel compelled to get everything done your way but repeatedly you look beyond that which your eyes see and you remember that inevitable race towards eternity and where you want to end up : heaven or hell.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Sweet Delusions



How many of us make big promises? That we will work for this Deen. How many us want our kids to be scholars and da'is of this Deen? But when the opportunity comes to us we politely refuse saying ; my kids are small. My husband doesn't understand and my family isn't practicing. We delude ourselves from the true essence of this faith by drowning our sorrows in sweet reminders and timid quotations of the Qur'an and Sunnah.

Believe me when I say this: There is truth in all those beautiful reminders and sometimes those words are what soothe aching hearts and soften breasts so that they can receive hidiyah. But we have to realistic this deen is not all about sweet talk and kind words. If we look to the lives of the dearly beloved Prophets of Allah you find in their lives nothing short of hardship, in every sense of the word. I mean if anyone deserved to be truly happy its these guys but yet we find that they had to make some very tough choices :

Prophet Nuh (a.s) preached for 950 years and even then only a handful of people accepted Islam and as the flood came he tried to save his son but his son drowned and there was no way to save him. Can you imagine that kind of grief and anguish that Nuh (a.s) had to face as a father? Can you even put yourself in his shoes? How he spent such a long time preaching and even then his own son was not one of the believers. Nuh (a.s) could have jumped in the water after him? Smacked him a few times and tried to bring him to his senses? But Nuh (a.s) had to accept the loss and move forward with his life and continue with his mission to spread the deen.

In this story you find no sweet reminder but a harsh reality of the kind of sacrifices that this deen , if you truly want to walk upon the way of the prophets like we keep saying we do all the time in a sudden burst of passion , will require from you , me all of us.

The only silver lining in our dark horizon is the promise of Jannah. I wouldn't say its the silver lining its a burst of light, like how the sun shines through after a long gloomy downpour. It lights up everything, it lifts our spirits and it shows us that it was all worth the wait. When I think of Jannah I cannot even bring to mind the kind of joy that , that place will bring all I know through my limited understanding and use of vocabulary is that it will be: IMMENSE.

And you know it makes all those hardships worthwhile it gives the mind some understanding that , that was Allah's promise that made every prophet that ever lived and every salaf that ever suffered any pain for this deen worthwhile. While they have been left with scars and meager worldly resources , in the Aakhirah they will have all the wealth and riches you could never squander and more! It's Allah's promise , who dares to doubt Him?

And every once in a while if anyone is ever blessed enough they get that feeling: its a feeling where the world stops making sense. You go from one mundane routine to the next, harping about degrees and future plans to all and sundry but in your heart there is that burning desire. The desire isn't for the worldly gain that comes with a Masters degree or a husband who knows how to earn. Its a desire to know Allah's book to have some shot at working on the same precarious , yet ever so rewarding path of the Prophets. It is the desire to take up Allah on His promise when He says:

And We have indeed made the Qur'an easy to understand and remember, then is there anyone who will remember? ( or receive admonition)

(Surah Al Qamar 54 : 17)

When that happens there will be few if any sweet sugar coated reminders along the way but only that firm promise for all your troubles for Allah's Sake will be : Jannah and nothing less Insha'Allah. I guess as women we need something to fall back on, that reassurance from someone we know and a shoulder to cry on. I'm certain that Allah made us that way in His Perfect Knowledge but I also know that He didn't make our emotional needs and worldly responsibilities an "excuse" to keep us from learning and spreading the deen.

I understand now that this world will forever keep churning out excuses for us , distracting us and imprisoning us. So, give its due importance: pay the bills and cook those meals but know that each day should find you searching for , and yearning for the knowledge of this deen and know that , that is your responsibility too. Because today you feel that burning desire to learn it, tomorrow it will fizzle out and it may never come back and May Allah forbid it will never come back not by sweet reminders or harsh realities.

So, personally I would hate to become one who echoes empty promises of servitude and submission to Allah  and survive off sweet reminders about smiling and small sadaqahs and on the inside my heart is broken its link with Allah swt all because I couldn't withstand the hardships that lead to Jannah. May Allah not make us from those. Ameen

Friday, September 13, 2013



Bismillah ,

Continuing with our discussion on  being nice and civil with people which is the first step of dawah. I think it goes without saying that nowadays the way many of us approach dawah is with the "holier then thou" approach. Where we think that in order to get through to them we have to "stoop" to their level, have a heated argument and lets not forget shove facts in their face and oh yes win!

I think the first thing we need to realize is that we need to approach the dawah with an open mind . We can't let our judgments and prejudices get the better of us and in the process we can't overstep the boundaries of Islam. What I want to share with you can best be explained in this video . It may seem like something unthinkable but really if you look at this brother's intentions and how he approached the matter, it puts many of our so called "da'is" to shame , it really does. I will let you decide:

Thursday, September 12, 2013

What a Girl Wants...



In the wake of the recent flurry of my friends getting married and engaged, I came to realize something that I want to share with you all, Insha'Allah. When we get older I'm sure our friends and our family members make us the center of many conversations where they discuss our "big day" they say we will dance and sing for you and we will have this lavish wedding . For some period of time you are swept away into a day dream where you imagine yourself in that perfect wedding attire, the lights , the camera , people praising you and your husband- to - be swooning when he sees you. 

Seems like the ultimate desire for every girl: her own day in the limelight, her day to shine. I too had some crazy fantasy like that but I never got to dwell on it for very long. You might feel like asking me: did something awful happen to me? Or if you are feeling a little "courageous" you will ask me : you do like men, right?  Alhamdulillah , lets quell your worries right here. I just came to realize that all our fantasies stem from some idiot box and books written by people many of whom do not understand our values as Muslims . They regularly dish out new lists of "must- have's" and "must-do's" and we blindly follow their lead. One of the biggest distractions I find that girls who reach marriageable age face, well not only us but our parents too is that : we needs to "buy things" for our new life ahead. 

Things that money can buy. Things that will beautify her appearance and things that if she doesn't have her in laws will pass snide comments about her and she will forever bring shame to the household. You know what? Those things that we spends months if not years gathering are of no real benefit. If they were then why is that men and women from wealthy homes live miserable married lives? Why is it that you see the newly married girl hurriedly packing her things and filing a divorce while she tried to hide her tear stained face from the rest of the world? They had everything they needed? I mean they checked off every item on the must- have list! 

I too tried at one point to look at marriage from the point of view of collecting things to make me feel that whenever my time came I would be ready. But as a dear friend pointed out that more then any material goods that will eventually be bought in due time  one needs to have Taqwa to feel truly ready for the phase of life that is marriage. And more importantly Taqwa is needed for every phase of a girl's life whether she just starting out college, university, a job or being considered a possible spouse for someone's son etc..

Let's be real with ourselves and understand that no matter what phase we cross in life there will always be tests. If some "chick flick" or "romance novel" has you believing that when you get married or when you manage to defy and disobey your parents at every turn then you will feel whole or when you are in a relationship with some guy then all of life's problems will fade away . Please, Please Please! Do yourself a favor and don't fall prey to such ideas and misconceptions. 

Someone may be reading this and thinking oh so now you want us to be all sad and mopey all the time and lose faith in the goodness of this world? I am not saying that I am saying that when you develop Taqwa: you Fear Allah, your hopes only lie with Allah and you are constantly aware that He Sees you. Then any phase of you life that comes when it intimidates you or upsets you will not have suicidal or evil thoughts because you will know Allah is with you to care for you and help you every step of the way. And by Allah there is no better asset by your side then to have this feeling of Taqwa in your heart , in times of crisis.

So, when you are married and prince charming is always running in late for dinner at home and he isn't exactly in a "charming" mood . You won't find the answers on how to work things out on your latest smart phone and neither will flinging your designer purse at him do either of you any good. Those things will all be a meaningless heap one day that you will leave behind only to face a very empty and unfulfilled existence in this life and the next. May Allah protect from that.  Ameen

What a girl really wants is Taqwa , she just hasn't realized it yet.