Weightless

Assalamualikum

Bismillah,

There are some realities of our existence as human beings that keeps us grounded. We rely on them and they allow us to move from one routine day to the next but lately I don't feel so reliant on these realities anymore. I tend to see all that we take for granted in a different way :

All the facts of our existence aren't exactly facts like there is no guarantee that there will always be  running water in your tap or that you will have the same house to go home to. Your bank balance will not always have the same amount and the savings you have for the so called , much dreaded "rainy day" may well dry out long well before that rainy day pours down on your plans.

Those insurances we stress about what assurance do they really give us at the end of the day? That should my loved one pass away ill be compensated in cash for my loss? Can money replace the void that that person left? You have got to be kidding me.

So, you see sometimes I don't feel grounded by these so called realities and false assurances that human life on this earth has to offer. I don't feel compelled to buy those shoes or save up for that new bag because its just another bag and those shoes are just another pair of shoes, I don't need them. I have people in my life that I love deeply sometimes unwillingly but I  know that I can never attach the much coveted word "mine" to anyone , it doesn't feel right because:

To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.

If you know me personally, you would say she is young she doesn't have the same responsibilities women her age have so its easy for her to have this carefree, apathetic attitude towards money and material goods. And really I dont owe you any explanations but I would like to remind you  and myself :

That all that we take for granted as it really is ours is from Allah. Food, shelter , you name it Allah provided it to you. As hard as it is to always remember that , because our material wealth gives us that false security that I bought it, I own it, Its mine. It is just a day dream that we quickly snap out of, often quite painfully when we lose things. 

I like to feel weightless like that because when you aren't held down by the realities of this life , you're eyes tend to see beyond the concrete houses and raging traffic. You gaze often lifts up to the heavens and you remember Allah exists and that just when you remembered Him in your heart , He remembered you too. 

When something doesn't go your way you aren't pushed to wage a war for those small unfortunate occurrences. You let go and in return you feel your heart is clean and free from bitter emotions like anger and hate for someone though it doesn't mean you never feel that way you do but not as much.

The heart still yearns for those things that it would like to receive but much of what it used to ache over and yearn for is replaced by that all encompassing feeling and knowledge that this life is little more then a moment's worth of enjoyment , that too interrupted by tests, anguish and pain. So, you feel inclined to make the most of this moment, trying to remember Allah and you don't feel compelled to get everything done your way but repeatedly you look beyond that which your eyes see and you remember that inevitable race towards eternity and where you want to end up : heaven or hell.