Monday, December 31, 2012

Painful Reunions

In life, many people walk into your life and many walk out. Sometimes they leave softly and you hardly feel their absence till they are well and truly gone. Sometimes they leave with alot of commotion leaving you with lots of emotional baggage. You are left rummaging through the lists of memories and souvenirs wondering what to keep and what to throw away and even though you know that none of those memories hold any value anymore, you still hold on to them hoping to savour the remnants of the past that was and all the joy and comforts of that time.
For some people you have to open the door and ask them to leave because their presence is nothing more then a hassle. You have nothing to do with them. Yet, one fine day they come knocking on your door, expecting to be let inside as if nothing happened. It doesn't matter who closed the door and who went outside. They just want to be let in because it suits them and they think it suits you too. When really it doesn't. You are a little surprised a little awe struck you struggle for the right words but all that comes out of your mouth are broken sentences, half - hearted pleasantries.

They apologize for the misgivings and ask to bury the hatchet for good. What do you say in return? Well, What will it be? When your insides are squirming and you feel a ball of fire in your stomach. Do you just hug and kiss and forget about it? Do you forget the battle that you had to wage with the self to come to terms with the  situation, the endless firing of insults , snide comments and the uncomfortable memories?  Do  you forget everything and say what they want you to say?

 You think of having your share of revenge. You think of reminding them of the past and all that had transpired. You think of asking them to leave once again and locking the door this time. The possibilities are endless it seems but .... there is only one right answer: you forgive them and try your best to move on. you dont invite them into your life again , you don't give them false hopes ... you just move on. Never for one second forgetting the past and why in the first place they left or you left.

Remembering doesn't mean you carry the burdens of the past with you , it only means that you remember just enough that next time those people try and convince you they have changed or offer a hand of friendship and so called "new starts" you are clever enough to not to be fooled. Because if they made you their doormat once they can without  batting an eye lash do it again. And again and again... it never ends.

Forgiving someone truly can be hard, do it for Allah's sake you convince yourself. You tell yourself, that would you not expect that on the day of Judgement when you knock on Allah's door carrying the burden of so many faults and Allah will be swift to take account of all of them, not one would be out of His Sight? Not one would have been Forgotten by Him? Should He decide the judge you based on all those faults where will you end up? Not Jannah I suppose... no not there. Wouldn't you be desperate for forgiveness as those endless faults weigh heavily upon your conscience?

 Maybe this person isn't desperate for forgiveness from you, maybe he/she doesn't even care whether you forgive them or not. But in the end you have to be the better person for no one else but Allah's sake. With the complete knowledge that He will heal any open wounds and soothe aching hearts. He will give you more the what you lost without a doubt remove any trace of hurt feelings.  So forgive them be the better person , ask Allah to forgive you because in life we aren't the only ones with doors being slammed in our faces and insults be hurled at us. We do alot of damage ourselves if not to someone else then to our own selves. Forgive yourself and seek Allah to forgive you again and again..
All wounds heal with time , new doors are created in our lives all the time the hustle and bustle of life doesn't end till the final knock of death at the door step. Would you rather be left indoors sorting through some one's trash, salvaging someone's scraps when there is so much more to discover and aspire for outdoors?

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