Friday, December 14, 2012

mirror mirror

mirror mirror on the wall I dont want to ask you who is the fairest of them all.
For beauty is only skin deep and the beauty that lies within is what I seek.

Beauty the lies within that knows no bounds
Beauty that makes us stand tall even when others look upon us and frown.
Beauty that doesnt need that approval of others eyes
Beauty that can continue to grow amongst the lies

I think sometimes we get so caught up in what others think of us especially being women it matters to us alot at times what judgement others will pass on us when we walk out on the street or when we meet them. I think that if not checked this habit can take root in our hearts and makes us less mindful of the One Whose Judgement is final and irrevocable- Allah swt.
 If I am to analyze myself and give a true picture of myself I would say that my struggle with this problem has been immense, to say the least. I have personally noticed that caring too much about that others think of you is another way we entangle oursleves in the distractions of this life slowing down our spritiual progress and sadly sometimes it goes in the opposite direction making us stagnant and distant from our Creator.
 Our prorities change drastically and if anything its a never ending headache beacuse we go to great lengths to get the people's approval but its an unattainable goal because people are relentless! They may praise you a little and no doubt some may be supportive in the form of good friends, kind strangers and loving family members. But I ask myself am I  really looking for their approval? Does their approving smile or caring pat of the back become the goal of my existance? No, its not.

Alot of times, I think cultural practices are one way that we place the importance of others' opinions upon our true priorties as Muslims and good human beings. I think its such a distructive mindset, while others are happily pursuing their goals and embracing their individuality we are slumped in a corner trying to get over the last hurtful comment, that disapproving stares and how can I forget the jokes where you the punchline. Its not fair to the self that one should be so bothered by what others think and say about you when they are not bothered to stop themselves to blurt out whatever comes to their head when they see you.

It bothers me no end when people talk at length about all the so- called "traditions" which have to be upheld and if they arent that they will be doomed and the it will bring shame upon the family and the apolagetic excuse "their feelings will get hurt." It is true that we do have to keep up family ties, show kindness if not for the sake of upholding Islamic values then atleast for the sake of being civil. But it is utterly nonsenscial to sacrifice Allah's Pleasure at the alter of  mere opinions of people. The same people who will not be answerable for us in the grave, neither will their approval boost our personal growth. But sadly we have made that sacrifice over and over again and reached a point where all we can think of first and foremost is XYZ not Allah swt.
I was reminded today about the beautiful hadith that said hadith regarding Allah Loving someone and then telling  angel Gibrael (as) to love that person and the dwellers of the sky being told to love that person...

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:"If Allah has loved a servant [of His], He calls Gabriel (on whom be peace) and says: 'I love So-and-so, therefore love him.'" He (the Prophet - peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: 

"So Gabriel loves him. Then he (Gabriel) calls out in heaven, saying: 'Allah loves So-and-so, therefore love him.' And the inhabitants of heaven love him." He (the Prophet - peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

"Then acceptance is established for him on earth. And if Allah has abhorred a servant [of His], He calls Gabriel and says: 'I abhor So-and-so, therefore abhor him.' So Gabriel abhors him. Then Gabriel calls out to the inhabitants of heaven: 'Allah abhors So-and-so, therefore abhor him.'" He (the Prophet - peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "So they abhor him, and abhorrence is established for him on earth."

[Muslim (also by al-Bukhari, Malik, and at-Tirmidhi).]

One can only imagine what an immense honour that is.. to attain Allah's love His approval and His Pleasure. It certainly not to be attained by those who hold the peoples'opinions more dear to themselves then the Commands of Allah. Now I ask myself whose approval am I more in need of ? I think I know very well what the answer is, its only a matter of unlearning the mindset that have stuck for so long and doing what is meant to be done. May Allah help me undo the damage to the self. Ameen.

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