Monday, January 21, 2013

My Right... to Love.

Assalamlaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I have been meaning to post something on this topic for sometime now but I couldn't find the right words to pen down my thoughts well here I am now and hopefully I'll make sense if to no one else but myself. When it comes to talking about love I am a hopeless romantic I love the idea of  love itself and though that may be subjective matter of how I choose to define what  I mean by love I think you will agree that to be able to love and be loved is a big blessing indeed.
The verses of the Quran where Allah swt speaks to us about the beautiful relationship kept between a man and his wife: in Surah Baqarah he describes them as a 'cover' for one another. When one reads about how Islam permits us to be in love through the act of Nikkah, one realizes that if with the right intention and sound awareness of the rights of the spouse simple acts like dressing up , cooking the other's favourite meal can become an act of sadaqah and a means to please Allah too. 
Allah has given us the full right to seek fulfilment of our existential needs in this union and complete half our deen yet we find  that we ourselves are not willing enough and patient enough to avail that right. Girls tell you that he is my fiance and are happily seen linking arms with the guy and walking past you, staying up all night just to be able to hear the other's voice. Guys are seen driving their "shortie" to the mall and  showering her with gifts and its even more upsetting when they tell you "we broke up" or "it was just a fling" "I'm just not that into her".
Ask yourself do you deserve to go through all that emotional drama that comes with break ups and stupid fights with someone who in Allah's eyes has no relation to you? Who can only mislead you into thinking you're truly happy while in reality you are slowly but surely inching towards your own doom. Sounds a little harsh and sometimes many of us do get this reality check from well meaning friends, family members, a sincere scholar or where ever else Allah permits us to find guidance from. Yet many a times we deny it saying; but I never call him, We plan to get married or our parents know about our relationship. When we can't even guarantee our being alive the next second then how can you guarantee that 6 months or 2 years down the line you will marry this person? And if Allah hasn't permitted for you to be involved in a certain relationship it makes little difference whether your parents know or your kind auntie knows you are in a relationship.
Any one who has ever been in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship will tell you that after a certain while it gets frustrating , its frustrating that you cant spend each and every waking moment with that person and be there for them whenever they need you. The way I see it is that being involved in something Allah has strongly warned us about and asked us to avoid by all means (including fasting) can never lead to true happiness. There is always this tug in your heart that something is amiss that it isn't enough but Shaitan makes you push those feelings aside and concentrate more on the love you feel for this person. And if ever you are lucky enough to understand the gravity of the situation and pull out of it you look back and think that so much time and energy was wasted over something that was never meant to be. You may end up wishing that you hadn't gone the extra mile and you hadn't said those 3 simple yet meaningful words and you wish you could go back in time. 
Allah is offering you a chance to be loved and appreciated exactly the way you and every other person deserves to be loved. He is giving you the chance to fulfill you  heart's desire in the most lawful and blessed manner. He is even promising you and your loved one to be reunited in Jannah should you two strive to Please Him alone and follow His Commands. There is no "The End" in Jannah it is for eternity then why should you and I settle for a cheap fling that last a few months, give or take a few years? Its like someone is offering you a lifetime supply of an exquisite bar Swiss chocolate and you say; "No thanks, I am fine with the small packet of lemon drops" Its absurd. 
I have the right to love and be loved and Allah swt in His Infinite Knowledge understands that better then anyone ever could. I have the right to fulfill my needs to have the chance to complete half my faith. To appear beautiful but only to that one special someone who will be my other half. I deserve to have the emotional and spiritual satisfaction that comes with knowing that I am not going against the Will of Allah just to fulfill my needs and seek what I think will be happiness but in reality its only a mirage. 
Don't deny yourself the right that Allah has given you because at the end of the day when that so called "magical feeling" goes away and that "soul mate" leaves you for the next pretty face you will realize that what you thought was love turned out to be nothing more then an illusion based on looks, lust and cliched words of passion. You right is to love but only the way Allah swt wants you to.


  1. Excellent post. I agree!

    May Allah grant you lasting true love in a happy, blessed marriage. Ameen. :)

  2. Ameen :)
    Jazakillah khair for stopping by. I am currently reading: "Travesing the Highs and Lowes of Muslim Marriage" and so far Alhamdulillah its been a big help in understanding the complex yet beautiful union of Nikkah.
    May Allah accept all our efforts to please Him and help this Ummah. Ameen
    Loads of Love.